Love letter to women #1

I see you. Driving the kids to school every day. Thinking about the thousands of tasks and chores you need to attend to. Getting it all done. Creating a safety net, a vast container for those around you. Letting your needs and desires fade into the background. Letting your mind direct your day instead of your heart. 

I’m just beginning to see you. I didn’t know your depths before, but I am starting to understand how deep and wide the feminine reaches. I regret that for most of my life, I characterized women as caddy, materialist, gossip-obsessed, not as smart, not as able, and just kind of silly. I know now that this characterization comes from patriarchy and not from me. 

But I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ever treating you like a man would. For not taking the time to understand your story. Your deepest desires. The stories your mother passed on to you. I’m sorry I made it seem like you’d done something wrong when you apologized for yourself. I’m sorry I made you feel dumb. I’m sorry I didn't show my full self so that you could show yours.

Then feminism came into my awareness. And it seemed harsh and narrow. It promised equality for women but was remiss in recognizing that we are simply different. So what does equality mean when we’re not the same? We come from a different place (Venus? maybe…). The power of the cosmos is inside our bodies, and we are connected to all of creation. The ability to create life belongs to the universe. And it also belongs to us. The womb is a portal to that place of creation, and we carry it around all day long. Even if you haven’t or don’t plan to create life, your creative fire burns the same and is just as powerful.

Creating and birthing my two children forced my body, mind, heart, and soul to collapse into themselves to be re-created. Motherhood is actually a death portal. And I had no idea how incredibly powerful that was. How powerful I am. We all are. The insidiousness of thinking that this was a weakness or something to hide instead of my greatest strength.

But now I see. I see myself. And I see you. 

In all of your multi-faceted beauty.

Your heart. Endlessly open to loving each and everything that crosses your path. Full of passion and light. 

I see you. Your shame. The story others have told about you. The patriarchal expectations you’ve been measured up against and can’t meet. The generations-deep embarrassment of not being what they expected of you.

Your shame is the seed that will manifest your most profound growth.

I see you. Feeling misunderstood. Seeking understanding from your partner, parents, or colleagues, and not feeling like you can express what’s true. Not feeling like they want to or are able to understand the depths of who you are.

Your soul-level understanding comes from remembering.  

I see you. Your worry. The way you spread your care and support so wide that it causes your mind to spiral into anxiety-ridden worse-case scenarios. 

Your mind will try to analyze, predict, and solve. Keep your care and love at heart level. 

I see you. Your fight. Your will to hold every living thing and strive for its survival. Your deepest desire to see life thrive.

I see you. Your creativity. The way you can create something from nothing. The deep well of beauty that you can bring to life and all of those in it.

I see you. Your flow. Your approach to processing and problem-solving is methodical, slow, and deliberate, putting longevity and community at the center. 

I see you. Your understanding. Holding the experience of many with profound care and recognition. Seeking to find common ground and an inclusive way forward. 

I see you. Your connection to all of creation. 

I see you. Your sacred beauty. The ecstasy of your shape, your voice, your eyes, your embrace. Your synchronistic gaze upon life. 

Your body holds the codes to all of the universal knowledge we have. 

I see you. And I know you remember. Do you feel a rising feminine power from deep in our history? It could be a small tingle and could be a tidal wave of knowing. Do you remember what we’re here for? Your wisdom is not only from your story but the story of your ancestors. All of their pain, their love, their fight, their purpose, their life, and their death. You are their greatest dream. And together, we are the continuation of that dream.